Assassins Smosh III (SmoshGames)
by ThatDamnNeighbour
Summary: Smosh would make excellent assassins, am I right? All of my summaries suck, so I'll just say that smoshgames are assassins and they do assassin stuff... Yup. Iancorn, Melishire, and Anthomari (I don't know what it's called...)
1. The Beggining

Okay so I was playing _Assassin's Creed 3_, and I realized that smosh would be awesome assassins. Includes people from smoshgames too, and I'm trying to keep it as old-timey as I can, so I will use their full names, whichever sounds classier. Y'know, like instead of Joe, you would say Joseph or something. Or instead of Bob, it would be Bobert. Bobert is a name my history teacher made up. Bobert Chubbs.

'What's your name?'

'Chubbs, Bobert Chubbs.'

Okay sorry for that crappy intro, now here's the actual story. It contains: Iancorn, Melishire (Dangermel & Joven) and AnthonyxMari (I don't know what it's called (*_*)

* * *

**(Ian's POV)**

"GET HIM!" I heard a man say, as I rushed out the door holding one of the world's biggest secrets

I jumped on rooftops, climbed in alleys, but I couldn't lose them, even WITH my team of highly trained assassins...  
Let me clear something up, WE'RE the good guys, even if there's only 6 of us.

"Oh shit!" I said, as I nearly missed the smallest of jumps between rooftops

"Hurry up!" Said David, grabbing my arm and pulling my to the rest of my group

I stumbled a bit and almost tripped

I felt a sharp pain in my back but I didn't care, I kept running

We were almost out of their sight, we just needed to run

I was getting ahead with my group, even though I held an ancient treasure in my hands, trying not to damage it  
I felt another pain in my arm, worse than the last

"Fucks sake!" I whisper-yelled as I kept running on the roofs

Mari, the only girl on our team, is in the lead, leaving us in her dust

"Come on, guys!" She said, moving over buildings like the wind

"Faster!" I heard the same man from before yell

Many guards ran by on horses, trying to catch us, more importantly, the scroll

Only the highest of people have seen the scroll, and what's inside it, supposedly the meaning of life, but I doubt it.

If you were even caught looking at the scroll when it's closed you would get killed; not the normal type of killing, like shooting you or something, they torture you, once I heard that they would take off all of your skin and let you bleed to death

I need to run for my life, and my friends' lives...

I feel like my legs are going to melt off, we have been running and jumping for about 15 minutes, not to mention we have to dodge the arrows and gunfire

"This way!" Exclaimed Joshua, running off into an alleyway

We all followed

The guards ran passed us and we got to stop and take a break, but soon we would have to start again.

"That was so close" Whispered David

"Yeah" Confirmed Matt

We were all panting and wheezing

"Get up" Declared Mari

"we need to go"

I should probably introduce who we even are, we are a group of assassins against the power of the government, they are trying to take away human rights and make us into a huge nation of slaves. They call it a new world order, but most people don't realize what it means. They have brainwashed nations of people. It's quite sad. Then there are a few handfuls of people like us, who stand up for what we want to change and what we don't.

We are pretty much kids, we all started this when we were all nearly 17, 3 years ago.

We've seen exactly what they want us to be, but that doesn't mean anything to us. If we need to kill a few people so be it, we're not letting them turn us into pieces of their little board game.

We don't want power, we just want to have freedom. Oh, and when I said we were 'highly trained assassins', yeaaaaaaahhhh not really. But we can climb fast and keep our stamina so that's good enough for me.

Oh right, the scroll, the scroll is the secret for them to world domination, no idea what it says, but whatever it says must be pretty good... Or bad in our case.

Back to introducing the team, I'm Ian, I am pretty much just the little scrawny kid who can run fast.

Joshua is a man of... Boy of trickery, he's like a genie, he can take what someone says and make it into a completely different sentence, buying us time.

Mari used to be here to stand there and look pretty, because Anthony had quite a big crush on her, but it turns out she can run like freaking Forrest Gump, like I said before, she's like the wind.

Speaking of Anthony, he's the real 'assassin' of the group, he gets things done, if you know what I mean

David is a kid at heart, making him energetic and filled with good news

Matt is silent, it's like he's unable to make a sound even if he tried, he usually gets the things we need, then he gives them to me.

I'd say we're a pretty good team.

"Where are those idiots! I want them _dead_!" I heard that man say from a distance

"We need to go, _now_!" Whisper-yelled Mari

"Yes, sir" I heard a woman say

I heard footsteps coming this way, there was only one way out, the way we came in.

"Good job, Josh!" I whisper-yelled, slapping him on the shoulder

"Hey! I kept us from getting killed!" He whisper-yelled back

"Will you both shut up!?" Whisper-yelled Matt

I saw a blonde woman walk by, in armour the guards usually wear, she didn't see us  
Just then, the scroll fell out of my jacket and made a noise that anyone could hear, at midnight anyways.

The woman backed up

"Who's there?" She asked, with fear in her voice

Anthony creeped up closer to her, slowly

Anthony rushed up to her and held her mouth shut

"Who are you and what do you want" He said

I picked up the scroll and put it back in my jacket

She pushed away Anthony's hand

"I'm Melissa from the-"

"Do you want the scroll" Asked Anthony, keeping her out of sight from other guards

"Well yes but I-" She started

Anthony pulled out his knife from his pocket

"No wait, stop! I'm on _your_ side!" She stated

Anthony paused

"The government needs to be stopped! It's not fair what they're doing to us" She claimed

"Let her go" Said Mari

"What do you want from us" Mari asked, pushing Anthony aside gently

"I want to join you" She said

HOLD UP. It's not even been a minute with this bitch and she wants to JOIN us? Oh hellllllllllll naw.

*End of P1*

Please review, I don't care about favorites really, but I like reviews c:


	2. One chance

Hello once again, audience! Wait wot. Okay so I still suck at intros, have any of you guys seen '_Wiflred_' on Netflix? It's a cool show, and did you guys know American money doesn't have the dents in it that blind people use to read? I'm ashamed, Murica'. Just kidding I don't care I'm Canadian. I will do the story in more than Ian's POV, but it will be mostly Ian.

* * *

**(Ian's POV)**

"You can't join us, now run along and get back to your stupid boss, tell him you can't find us." Anthony said, pushing her away

Mari sighed

"Sorry he has some... Issues, just go away and know you're not with us" She said

I know that Anthony has a crush on her, he tells me all the time, it gets annoying.  
He rolled his eyes like he didn't care but I know he did.

"Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there, he's going to find you and kill you!" She said

"And if you join us, he'll kill you too." I stated

She glanced at all of us for a moment, and walked away

"Guys look!" Whisper-yelled David, climbing up the wall of the building we were squished beside

We all followed him up the wall and we winded up on the rooftop, looking down on what seemed like an army of people trying to find us and kill us.  
One person stood out, a blonde-haired woman kneeling down to the leader of the group

I could see she was talking to him, but he was not pleased

I have no idea what happened but the next thing I knew was she was getting kicks and slaps to the face and blood was on the ground as the group moved forward into the streets.

I saw her turn back and talk to the boss.

She pointed at us

That fucking bitch!

"Get down!" Said Matt, falling to his chest

It was too late, they all turned towards us, there was a moment of silence.

"Run!" I yelled

I felt inside my jacket

"Shit! The scroll is down there!" I said, desperately feeling inside my jacket for the scroll

"Doesn't matter, just run! They _think_ we have it!" Said Josh, pushing me towards where we were running

We were all running, I was in front because this time I don't have a 15 pound object in my hand.

I heard a gunshot from behind me, right before it hit the ground beneath me

"Run FASTER" I heard Mari say, as she passed me

Sometimes I wonder why we stick with her, she's always bitching.

"Is it that time of the month again?" I asked

"Shut up" She replied, running even faster

"Don't piss her off, she knows where you sleep." Josh said from a few feet behind me

I laughed

She looked behind her shoulder for 2 seconds and gave us an evil look

"I FOUND IT!" I heard a man with a strong accent say, it sounded more like: 'Eyy fund eut'

"They found the scroll!" I said, wheezing as I ran

"Haystack!" David yelled, pointing into town

We all jumped down into the pitch black streets, trying not to make a sound

"Get in!" Yelled Mari, jumping in the hay

We followed, normally this haystack would barley fit one body, nevermind all 6 of us. I'm pretty sure I am touching everyone right now, but it's better than being suffocated in some weird WW2 gas chamber. (Alllll aboard the butthurt train! c:)

**(Mari's POV)**

I swear these idiots have no idea how to do anything. They're like toddlers. But still not as babyish as the ememies, god, they couldn't hit us if I stood up right now and waved around a god damn sparkling flag that says 'SHOOT ME' in neon green letters!

"Are they still here?" I heard Anthony ask from behind me. Great, now I know who's lap I'm sitting on.

"Let's wait the night." I heard Matt say

Oh fucking HELL no, I'm not sitting on Anthony Padildo's lap for 7 more hours! I guess he's better than some of the other guys I've seen. It's not that they're not attractive or anything, cause' they are, but I mean like, what I mean is... They're my FRIENDS, no one wants to fuck a friend. It's like how opposites attract sort of thing, if you're 99% compatible with someone you can't be dating, it's not very good logic, but it's true.

Okay enough about screwing Anthony and my friends, I just need to know if they're still looking for us. It's literally getting hot in here.

It's like when there's a fly in your room and you don't want to kill it because it's too scary, so you hide under your sheets, but it gets too hot, but you don't want to come out because the fly might murder you with a machine gun.

"I think we should get out of here" I heard Josh say

YES. FOR ONCE I AGREE WITH HIM. LETS GO.

"Yeah let's go." I agreed

"FIND them. I don't give two fucking SHITS if they're dead or alive, just GET THEM." I heard a man say

Suddenly a pitch fork came down into the hay in a burst of anger

"Fuck!" Josh whisper-yelled

"Did it get you?" Ian asked

"No I just started bleeding for no reason!" Josh said sarcastically

"I can't feel my leg" He added

"Shit, we don't have a nurse or anything" I whispered

I heard the bell tower ringing.

It's morning. How? I swear it was 9 o'clock 5 minutes ago.

"Are you okay?" David asked

"Yeah... It's just a little uhm... Broken, and bloody... And numb..." He said

"Where the hell are we gonna get a doctor?" Anthony asked

"I'm fine" Josh said, trying to flex his leg

It is seriously like a sauna in here now.

I busted through the hay, letting oxygen burst through and cool air touch my face

Light washed through and I saw how serious his leg problem was

"Holy crap, are you sure you're okay?" I asked

"I'm _FINE_." He said

He tried to stand up but fell down right next to David

"Come on, dude we need to get you to a doctor" Said David, helping him up

They locked shoulders and limped along

"You have hay in your hair" I said, picking it out of his hair

"I don't care" He said, flipping his hair

**(Josh's POV)**

I can't feel anything, I feel like I mine as well be in a wheelchair.

Something went through my good leg

"God fucking... FUCK" I said, falling onto the concrete

I turned to look at what it was, I saw the lady from before holding a pistol.

"What the fuck do you want from us!?" Matt asked, talking loudly making his voice crack

"I told you once, I'll say it again. I want to join you" She replied, walking closer

"Fuck off, you can't join us!" Mari replied

She raised her gun and shot me in the leg again

"You are not going to join us!" Mari, said, slapping her in the face

She shot me again in my knee, almost in the same spot

"I'll ask again. Can. I. Join. You." She repeated, pointing the gun at my chest

"HOLY SHIT YOU CAN JOIN" I said, blocking the gun barrel with my hands

"Good" She said, lowering the gun

"You're not joining, fuck off, bitch" Said Mari, stepping uncomfortably close to her

She aimed the gun at me yet again, and reloaded the gun

"You sure" She asked

"Go. Away." Mari said, moving closer so their noses were almost touching

She laughed

"So... Do the carpets match the drapes?" She said

Mari punched her in the face, causing her to accidentally pull the trigger and shoot me in the arm

"GOD DAMMIT" I said, clutching my arm, rolling into a fetus shape

"You know... I'm a doctor and I can heal that" She said, staring into Mari's eyes

There was a long moment of silence

"FUCKING SAY YES!" I said, breaking the awkward silence.

"You get one chance." Mari replied

*END OF P2*

lolwat


	3. Forever

Lol wat. Sorry I haven't been uploading ( I guess ) anything for a while, I have semi-writers block. WHAT IS SEMI-WRITERS BLOCK, YOU ASK? Oh well I appreciate your question but I have no idea. I write kind of like... Off the top of my head I guess so I rarely plan anything. Once I came up with a story in a dream, it went like this:

A young boy named Larry goes to a wizard school and battles a guy with a tiny nose.

I know, I'm original.

I went to 7/11 today at lunch and got Slurpee's and pizzas from Little Ceasers. Okay sorry I wanted to get that out of my system. HERE YOU GO, BUTTMUNCHES. Also, this will be quite a small chapter, nothing much happens so don't get your hopes too high. There is Melishire though. I say not to get exited because not many people ship Melishire, I would tell you to get uber exited if it was a couple like say, Iancorn.

* * *

(Josh's POV)

She placed me down on a table-bed looking contraption, it was cold, made out of wood, and very uncomfortable, even with a 2 centimeter thick mattress. Okay maybe 2 centimeters and a tenth. Or a hundredth. Or a billionth...

"The name's Mellissa, but you can call me Mel." The girl said

"Okay, Mellissa." I said, trying to annoy her

She rolled her eyes, then proceeded to bandage the wounds _she_ created

"If it makes you feel any better, the bullets didn't get stuck." She said

"Why would it make me feel _better_? If anything that only means double the holes!" I said

I feel light headed, like my head is about to implode.

"Hurry up I think I'm losing too much blood." I said, feeling weaker every second

Speaking of seconds, they feel like minutes, minutes, they feel like hours, and hours... I don't even know.

* * *

By the way, did you guys/girls know that 3 periods (...) is called an ellipsis. NOW YOU KNOOOOWWW.

* * *

"Try to think of something fun and exiting, It'll keep you awake..." She said, seeming unsure

"Are you_ sure_ you're a doctor..." I asked

"What? Of course I am!" She said, insulted.

I looked at the ceiling, it had a small hole, right where my face would be.

I wonder what they're doing... Anthony's probably just sitting there, Matt's probably just sitting there, David's probably just standing there, Ian's probably just sitting there, and Mari's probably just sitting there wishing she wasn't.

It's probably just stress that makes her act like such a colossal bitch 24/7...

I shouldn't say that... err... I guess _think_ that, everyone knows Anthony likes her.  
I wonder who she likes...

" All done " Said Mel, stretching her back

"now take off your shirt." She continued

"Why?" I asked

She looked at me like I was retarded.

"Your arm." She said

I looked at my arm and saw where she had previously shot me in my shoulder, and realized I should be feeling pain so my GENIUS body decided to act like a bitch and make it sting 400x more than before.

"Can't you just cut off my sleeve?" I asked

"No, I'm not ruining a good shirt like that, and winter's coming soon, you'll need that shirt." She said

"Uhh, my leg's staring to hurt a bit again, can you check that out?" I asked

"I forgot, I'm not a real doctor." She mocked

"besides, what's so bad about taking off your shirt?" She asked

"I don't _want_ to." I said

"Well says to take off your shirt." She said

"It's a free country!" I said

"No it's not, I can't even vote." She said

"whatever, bleed to death, fine by me." She said

She walked out of the room, somewhat angry, but at the same time, overjoyed.

I heard a door close from down a hallway, before I heard thunder from outside.

"God dammi-" I said, as I got hit in my eyes by rain

I sat up, and realized how much my legs hurt. Not only the gunshot one, but the pitchfork one too. She bandaged both of them but somehow it made it worse, irritating it.

I have to choose between pain and freezing eyeball pain.

I think I'll stick with this.

"How's it going, sunshine?" Asked Matt, walking in the room

I rolled my eyes.

He saw my predicament and looked at the roof, then the soaking mattress, then the roof again.

Mel walked in holding a stack of towels, and placed them where the water was leaking.

"That should do it." She said

"Fancy" Matt said sarcastically

"Shut up, one day people will be carrying around PORTABLE music players, you never know" She said

"I was being sarcastic, and that would never happen."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, then looked at me.

"Ready to take your shirt off?" She asked

"OOOOOH is there a more-than-friends relationship brewing here?" Matt asked

I laughed, but Mel stood there, and looked at him.

"Get out." She said

"It's just a jo-"

She pushed him toward the door. He walked out, with a confused expression on his face.

"Take it off." She said, angrier than before.

"No." I insisted.

She leaned in toward me so she was inches from my chest and tried to take off my shirt manually

"No!" I said, pulling it down

"Yes!"

We kept pulling the shirt up and down, side to side but it still wouldn't come off. She ended up on top of my chest, pulling my shirt off of my shoulders, smearing the blood on the shirt and my arm.

There was an awkward silence.

I mean, if you were lying down and someone you don't really know came and sat on you and took your shirt off, it'd be awkward.

An awkward glare between our eyes started, and she stared deeply into my eyes, I realized how blue her eyes were, it reminded me of my now blood-filled shirt.

She leaned in and kissed me.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. What the fucking fucking fuck!? What the fucking shitting fuck! I literally JUST met her like, a day ago!

I tried to push away but she just came closer, I can't even use my arms because she's holding on to one and the other one is too painful to use.

I can't even lean back unless I want to freeze to death... Wait, that's it! [YOU JUST GOTTA BELIEEEEEVEEEE]

I leaned back and hoped she would flinch at the cold water, instead she kept her lips on mine.

Holy crap, seriously, is she cold blooded? Actually that explains a lot.

She sat up and began to unbutton her shirt

"I DON'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY." I said, trying to catch my breath

"Well. I guess I'll be going... Forever." She said, leaving the room.

I lay down flat on my back, relieved to see no rain in my eyes.

* * *

#but_that's_not_awkward

Buh-bye.


	4. Shortest Chapter Ever

Hey guys, so it's midnight again and I have to do a project that was due in May and another project that was due a week ago by Thursday, and until then I need to prepare for my final band concert and stay in for lunch detention. YAY ME. Best fucking way to end the year ever.

Anyways I'm going to fucking fail next year. OH GOD WHY. Can't they give us longer summers? Like... 6 months long, and twice a year...

Yeaah I'm fucking pissed off.

Oh and to add on to my fucking pissed off-levels, people seriously think that Drake and Lil Wayne are better fucking rappers than EMINEM. Eminem is fucking better than both of them combined. He raps about his family, and he never says 'nigga' and Drake and Lil Wayne rap about money, drugs, hookers, an their 'niggas' LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. Oh but do you know what I actually like?

I like how in the fucking English language you can fucking put fucking in any fucking place you fucking want.

BUT NOPE. The society is all like: LOL NOPE YOU LIL BITCH YOU CAN'T SWEAR IN PUBLIC

Just to piss us off. But those badass 4th graders swear all the time. By now you probably skipped to the story, and feel free to, BUT I WILL CONTINUE RANTING UNTILL I FUCKING ENJOY LIFE AND I CAN SLEEP.

I hate how when you shower, there's a spider like: OH HEY FUCK YOU, I'M GONNA GO LAY EGGS IN YOUR HAIR NOW HAHAHAH

I hate how when you go shower somewhere else and you're like: GOD DAMN IT'S LIKE A SPACE SHIP UP IN HERE I DON'T KNOW THESE CONTROLS.

I hate it when instead of writing a story people just rant about what they hate.

I HATE IRONY.

I hate when you're in a fullscreen game, and then your computer's like: "LOL FUCK YOU, I'M GONNA DO SOME UPDATES"

I hate when you download stuff for the Sims 3, then it shuts down and you can never play it again!

I HATE when people leave the fucking shopping cart in the middle of the hallway in Wal Mart JUST SO YOU CAN'T GET AROUND, AND HAVE TO PUSH THEIR CART FIRST, THEN GO, AND THEN THEY RAGE AT YOU.

I hate fucking school, I KNOW YOU LEARN STUFF, but all they TEACH YOU, IS HOW TO FUCK, THEN THEY GET MAD WHEN THEY HAVE BABIES RUNNING AROUND A GODDAMN HIGHSCHOOL TRYING TO FIND THEIR MOMMY.

I hate how your parents are like: OH YEAH WE'LL HELP YOU WITH YOUR HOMEWORK, JUST NOT NOW, KAY?

Okay I think I'm fucking good enough for now.

* * *

*2 Months later*

(Ian's POV)

Nothing much has really happened for a while, we have to lay low for a bit longer until they call off the search for us. Josh can walk a bit now, he can't run but he can walk, and no one knows what happened to the weird lady...

We were all sitting in a coffee house, everyone besides me was drinking, I don't like coffee personally, it tastes like hot water.

It was all silent, everyone was eyeing each other.

"Okay so I know what we're all thinking, what happened to the crazy lady." Mari said, breaking the silence

"Her name's Mellissa." Josh said, sipping his coffee

"Oh right, you were with her last, what happened?" Asked Matt

He shrugged

"I guess she ran away, like a lost dog." I said

They laughed

"I'm glad she's gone, she was a fucking bitch." Mari said, quietly, looking around to see if anyone heard her

"She's not a bitch.." Said Josh under his breath

"What?" Asked Anthony

"Nothing" Josh said

"You said something" Anthony insisted

"Nevermind" Josh said, louder

"Just tell me what you said" Anthony continued

"He doesn't want to" Matt said

Anthony rolled his eyes

"Wow, uh, look at the time, I uh, I got to go..." Josh said, leaving a nickel on the table and walking away

"Where's he going?" Asked Mari

I shrugged

* * *

(Josh's POV)  
Fuck where did that bitch go... I need to find her

-END OF P4-

FUCK, SORRY I'M MAD AND CAN'T THINK OF CRAP TO WRITE.

Bye you buttmunches. THIS IS THE SHORTEST FUCKING CHAPTER EVER. IT'S LIKE 2 SENTANCES. My god, I'm going insane.


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